In a culture that worships charisma and command, “nice” is often treated as a career liability. Emma Baines disagrees and she has the creative chops, data, and experience to prove why.
As Global Head of Creative at Tony’s Chocolonely, Baines is no stranger to bold brand platforms. But at SXSW London, she delivered a different kind of challenge: not to change how we market products, but how we measure leadership.
From Red Flag to Gold Standard
Baines opened with a confession: she’s spent most of her career being told she was “too nice.” Not strategic enough. Not assertive enough. Not ready. Once, after being passed over for a promotion she was already informally doing, the feedback she received was simply, “You’re really nice.”
That wasn’t feedback, it was dismissal.
Rather than hardening up, Baines started digging. The etymology of “nice” reveals a rocky past: derived from the Latin nescius, it originally meant foolish or ignorant. Even now, cultural cues reinforce it as beige, agreeable, unremarkable. “We’ve all tried rebrands,” she said. “Empathy. Kindness. But nice still gets the worst PR.”
But what if nice isn’t the opposite of strength? What if it’s the benchmark?
Redefining Leadership: Quiet Strength, Not Loud Control
Through lived stories and sharp reframing, Baines outlined a new model of leadership, one that recognizes the power of presence, listening, and steadiness.
In one pivotal career moment, she recalled being caught between senior leadership demanding weekend work and a creative team that had said no. Instead of forcing compliance, she cleared the room, sat with her team, and simply listened. The result? A “yes,” on the team’s terms. The work got done. Respect remained intact.
“That wasn’t weakness,” she said. “That was leadership.”
Baines drew a clean distinction between people-pleasing and principled leadership. “Kindness is what you do. Empathy is what you feel. Niceness is how you show up.”
Together, that trifecta defines what she called transformational leadership, not command-and-control, but confidence-with-care.
Backing it Up with Data and Role Models
Beyond anecdotes, Baines brought research: studies from McKinsey and others consistently show that agreeable leaders build higher-performing, more loyal teams. She then pointed to two high-profile case studies:
Jacinda Ardern, former Prime Minister of New Zealand, who led through crises with empathy and resolve. “She didn’t lead despite being nice. She led because of it.”
Satya Nadella, Microsoft’s CEO, who handed his leadership team a copy of Nonviolent Communication then went on to triple the company’s market value. His Glassdoor approval rating? Over 90%.
In both cases, “nice” wasn’t an absence of strength. It was a different form of it strategic, grounded, and deeply effective.
The Leadership Advantage Hiding in Plain Sight
Baines’ final call to action was direct: rethink how you show up. Rethink who you elevate. The person holding the room steady, defusing tension, absorbing pressure that person might already be leading. You just haven’t rewarded it yet.
“In a world where you can be anything,” she said, “be nice.”
And don’t just be nice: lead nice.
Key Takeaways
Nice ≠ Weak. It’s often the steadiest, not the loudest, who lead most effectively in creative environments.
Kindness is not compliance. Bounded empathy, clear listening, not passive agreement is powerful leadership.
Redefining leadership culture starts with recognition. If you’re not promoting the person holding the emotional weight of the team, you’re missing your real leader.
Business results back it up. Under Satya Nadella’s “soft” leadership, Microsoft’s market cap tripled. Kindness scales.
Rebranding Nice is long overdue. It’s not vanilla. It’s the benchmark. And it's time the C-suite treated it that way.
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